‘Attending Class’ is one of the most paradoxical phrases ever coined by the linguists। As far as I m concerned these two words don’t go together। The words - ‘Attention’ and ‘Class’, are completely contrary to each other. The Shakespeare who came up with such a term seems to have completely lost his track. Any student can very easily explain this fact. This is because ‘classes’ can never be ‘attended’! Yes, I may agree to the physical presence of the students in class but I can never conform to their, so called, ‘attending class’. I will give you a description of my own class and I am sure it is going to remove any of your apprehensions in my belief.
.
We are a class of about sixty students। It is one of the best classes as far as academic performance is concerned. I tell you this to assure you that we are no bunch of do-no-gooders. The class is for fifth semester of Computer Engineering. It is one of the most important semesters for any aspiring engineer। But the scenario of our class, during a lecture, will tell you differently.
.
For the whole sessio
n the front benches remain besieged by the girls, for it is their birthright! I could never comprehend why the girls have to sit in the front row and that too with their face as blank as my mind। I think this may be some voodoo to ward off the evil called teacher। But it doesn’t seem to be working, because the teachers continue to harass us with their lullabies, called lectures. And as if this wasn’t enough, these girls go on to raise the weirdest question that could be imagined. They always have a soft corner for the questions which is nowhere close to the topic being discussed. If the teacher explains the platform independence of C++, they would ask about the importance of this principle in JAVA!
n the front benches remain besieged by the girls, for it is their birthright! I could never comprehend why the girls have to sit in the front row and that too with their face as blank as my mind। I think this may be some voodoo to ward off the evil called teacher। But it doesn’t seem to be working, because the teachers continue to harass us with their lullabies, called lectures. And as if this wasn’t enough, these girls go on to raise the weirdest question that could be imagined. They always have a soft corner for the questions which is nowhere close to the topic being discussed. If the teacher explains the platform independence of C++, they would ask about the importance of this principle in JAVA!There are also some very chauvinistic guys who believe their pride would be hurt if they are beaten by the girls in absurdity and stupidity। These boys raise the already high bar of idiocy. I am of the belief that these boys and girls never listen to what the teacher is saying, rather they whole heartedly concentrate on their ongoing competition of ‘who is stupidest of all’.
Not far behind is this batch of know-alls। They are aware of each and every topic or cases related to the subject. They burden themselves with the responsibility of teaching the teachers. This usually leaves the helpless faculty harangued and frustrated. The teacher plots his revenge by diminishing the internal marks through some intricate wizardry. But these know-alls are not so easily to be defeated. They are again found explaining the facts to these hapless teachers.
Adding to the stature of class is this group of nodders। I assume, they either s
uffer from some rare disease which makes them nod at each and every word of the lecturer, or someone winds a special spring in their neck, which keeps them nodding the whole day.
uffer from some rare disease which makes them nod at each and every word of the lecturer, or someone winds a special spring in their neck, which keeps them nodding the whole day. Now let us move on to the impersonators or the pretenders. These are the mysterious characters of the class. They interact very rarely and they never speak up. They appear very attentive and intellectual but actually they wander off to some strange planet of their own, nowhere close to our classroom. Also their intellectuality vanishes in the thin air once you hear them. If, by some mistake, they happen to open their mouth one easily perceive the abscondence of their gray matter.
The last (literally sp
eaking) but in no way the least are the bunch of back benchers. The sole purpose of their existence is to create commotion in the class. I find them to be creative lot because they always turn up with some new means to achieve their solitary goal of disturbing class। They are also very valiant characters as they either succeed in their endeavor or sacrifice themselves by getting punished.
eaking) but in no way the least are the bunch of back benchers. The sole purpose of their existence is to create commotion in the class. I find them to be creative lot because they always turn up with some new means to achieve their solitary goal of disturbing class। They are also very valiant characters as they either succeed in their endeavor or sacrifice themselves by getting punished. This is the basic structure of our class; rather, these are the general elements which comprise a classroom anywhere in the world। And you must have ascertained by now, how every element is farthest from the term ‘Attending Class’. They are very much present in the class, but in no way can be anointed to the position of Attending The Class. Henceforth, I conclude by saying that a class can never be attended and ‘Attending Class’ is a contradiction of terms!!!
.
Written By:
M.H.Haque (Sam)
Illustrations By :
Mustufa
